A friend of mine told me this joke: A girl lying down next to her boyfriend.”Babe, I love listening to your heart beats,” she says. “That’s ur internal biological clock ticking, Babe,” answers the boyfriend.
We still don’t know if he was the one who invented it. He said he was inspired by a sweeping mania, that he called the “I wanna-get-married syndrome.”
This syndrom is not particular to Lebanon, but to most women around the world who are setting their priorities according to their biological clocks.But the obsession with marriage is going a little bit overboard.
Let’s take Lebanon for example. Most girls want marriage. They want it quick , they want it fast and they want it now!
I did not really start thinking about marriage until I came back to Beirut. Everybody is asking about it, or about the prospects of it. You hear phrases such as, “it’s time!” , “Yalla” (“come on” in Arabic), “we hope to see you a bride soon,” etc…
Everyone is concerned with that issue: Parents, relatives, friends, even potential employers. This IS the talk of the town.
Such concerns about my relationship status, I find endearing. But when it becomes a daily refrain, it takes on another tenor.
Wary of preserving my inner peace, I spend so much energy filtering out people’s comments about the necessity and the time to get married, it gets tiring.
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in marriage against all odds, I believe in a bond, more than anything else really.
I wish some people take some time in their choice of partner and when they in fact, choose to get married, they would do it for the right reasons. Reasons of love, mutual understanding and common visions for life, which have become rare currencies in the current social sphere.
In the pursuit of the “happily ever after,” a checklist that resulted from too much conformity to fake social standards and the loss of the true essence of relationships, is the only map.
On that checklist, profiles of men with trust funds and of women with certain looks are in high demand.
People with capacity to love and to offer mutual enrichment to one another is rarely heard of. On top of it, romance has lost its place in that equation.
I just want to share my favorite quote on Marriage by Rainer Maria Rilke.
The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a wholeand before an immense sky.
That is the standard folks, that is my standard at least. Until then, I am happily single and ready to mingle.